Dearest,
My hands trembled
With the pink paper
Unfolding it with fear
The thought of being caught
Tugs my heart like a cursed hook
I read the first line
"To my dearest, my everything"
And with each word that followed
My curiosity killed my innocence
A decade flew, I still remember the letter
A missive of love
Laced with pain and deception
"I am returning to be with you
My darling, I am sorry for leaving."
I imagined the tears of the person
Reading and regretting in limbo
"You always had me. It can still be.
Just trust me now. I was a fool before.
But it is you I want, I need. So please"
Echoes crawl under my skin, numbness sets in
"Leave her, I was first in your life."
"I will wait for your call
I promise I will stay this time.
Forgive me and give me another chance
I love you, I love you. I beg you.
I know I can make you happy."
I slid the paper back
Inside the old, brown suitcase
Closed it fast,flicked the combinations
I ran like the wind, out of the room
I had to find him, lash at him
How could he do this?
Why did he still keep the letter?
Dilemma, should I tell? I will be called out
I watched closely when he fiddled with the suitcase
I memorized the venus trap numbers with mischief
I kept my silence, I chose to
It was in the past, he never admitted it
But I wanted an answer to a lingering question
Why he still stays? Inspite of the pain
Endless fights, blows to his ego
That pink paper may be lost
Or does he still read it?
Especially when he doubts his decision
He was really in love with the woman
His first love, his soulmate, his supposed life
Two years ago, I got the answer
Under the unveiled aroma of alcohol
He leaned close as I steered the wheel
"I know you read the letter
You put it in the wrong compartment."
My face turned red with shame and guilt
"Yes, she was my lover
For a long time, I waited
She left me for greener pasture.
I felt alone, betrayed and forgotten
I acted on impulse, I chose to move on."
"She wanted me back
I still remember her to this day
But I fell deeply in love with you
I cannot bring myself to leave you
You are now my everything."
I understood in silence
I smiled as he looked away
He chose me above his happiness
I made a sharp curve hastily
But who cares? He loves me, only me
"I may be drunk but I felt that bump!
Shift to lower gear when it is a sharp curve.
You are still stubborn. I 'll just close my eyes
But I still want to live longer sweetheart."
That night, I drove my father safely back home.
© Hazel Toquero
